You Will Be Fine… April 18, 2009
Posted by En Xian in family_matters.6 comments
Yesterday night when I went home, my uncle told me that my grandmother was hospitalised. Guess what? She has been hospitalised since TUESDAY and I was only made known on FRIDAY. -_-”’ But my uncle told me that she’s fine.
This morning, he told me that my grandma has a asthma attack (or something like that lah) and I really freak out. So, I decided to visit her.
After my tuition, I went to meet Felicia, supposed to study together but we end up going to Kbox instead. -_-”’ She’s such a negative influence lor. :) *haha* But it’s was real fun because it’s really been a loooooooong time since I last went to Kbox! 3 months ago? Anyway, thanks Felicia! Thanks for accompany me today because I really don’t wanna be alone today (I’m sure you know the reason why). I really appreciate it. :)
Later in the evening, I went to visit my grandma at NUH. She was panting heavily and I really could feel her pain. :( She was hugging my aunt, sobbing, because she’s worried that she might leave us. I teared up. :’( Even though I don’t talk to her much usually and sometimes I know I treat her like f***, but deep down inside, she’s someone dearly inside my heart and I’m really afraid of losing her. Those who know me well enough know that I’ve always wanted to move out. The reason isn’t because I hate them or whatever but rather, I don’t want them to think that I hate them. Years ago, I’ve lost my ability to talk to them normally. I also don’t know what happened along the way. Whenever they talk to me, I either ignore them totally or give them a reply in an angry or unhappy tone. I DO want to talk to them normally, I swear. But I just don’t know how. :( I tried several times and I failed. My friends have always tell me to go home more often, spend more time with my family, blah blah blah… But the truth is, I’ve tried and it doesn’t work. In fact, I think the more I stay at home, things will turn out even worst. I know that I’ve hurt them but I really don’t know how to salvage the problem and I guess the best way out is for me to move out of my house. *haha* But sadly, I don’t have the financial support to move out. Year one is going to be over and I’ll be shifting back home by the end of this month. I really don’t want to go home, yet. :( Hope I don’t make things worst when I stay at home……
Anyway, she’s fine now.
Grandma, don’t worry too much ok? You will be fine lah! Stay strong! :)
P.S: Happy birthday to you! Hope all your brithday wishes come true! :)
